Helpful Ways to Respond to Humiliation
Humiliation hurts pride, that’s for sure. Nobody wants to be in a situation where he is the subject of embarrassment and shame. Although humiliation can come in many forms, it can be degrading to one’s self-esteem.
In this day and age for example, where social media can give anyone an instant fame, parents too are taking the private acts of discipline to their children in the virtual public. When you hit up YouTube, you will catch tons of hits on public shaming. This idea of public shaming has not exempted Singapore as well. Domains such as Stomp! have made it accessible to the public to upload pictures and photos of unacceptable behavior.
If you happen to be in this dreaded situation, there are helpful ways on how you can save yourself from further damage, here’s how:
Get yourself out of the situation
Neuroscientists found out that it only takes 20 minutes to make an emotional conversation shift into another direction. After that, both parties will be trapped into a neurologically-based pattern that the chance of shifting can only happen after a time of separation. So, it is better not to stay around hoping things will go better or argue with your thoughts. You can say something like “I am not going to discuss this matter with you at the moment,” or you can say absolutely nothing at all!
Do not take it personal
This is going to be a hard response but while you are at the peak of your emotions and horror brought about by humiliation, breathe deeply and take your mind off yourself to process the factors that triggered this person to humiliate you. Staring blankly at the person and displaying a facial expression of surprise shows how shocked you are that such person could behave that way.
More often than not, the person who humiliated you will feel guilt or shame after that moment. They may not say it, but human nature tells otherwise.
When you get the chance, it is best to talk to this person in private. You can tell him that you don’t think he necessarily meant everything and you want to hear his thoughts about the issue. You can be honest in saying that it put you to distress.
Experts tell us that when someone is trying to put a shame on us and make us feel bad about our self, it is because this person has the problem and not because you’ve committed something so unforgivable.
Be mindful of your counterattack
Humiliation can undoubtedly cause anger, and to make revenge can equally feel good in a way that you redeem self-esteem. But the danger in making a counterattack can lead the person humiliating to strike back with a stronger comeback which can make the situation even worse. Choosing not to retaliate on the other hand, does not mean you are weak. It just shows you don’t want to level yourself into that kind of behavior, as much as possible.
Go on with your life
This might sound easier said than done, but it’s the only way to go. You might not be able to strike back directly as your revenge but sometimes, showing that person do not have a continued effect on you is a revenge itself.