Value Add Singapore

Helpful Ways to Respond to Humiliation

Humiliation hurts pride, that’s for sure. Nobody wants to be in a situation where he is the subject of embarrassment and shame. Although humiliation can come in many forms, it can be degrading to one’s self-esteem.

In this day and age for example, where social media can give anyone an instant fame, parents too are taking the private acts of discipline to their children in the virtual public. When you hit up YouTube, you will catch tons of hits on public shaming. This idea of public shaming has not exempted Singapore as well. Domains such as Stomp! have made it accessible to the public to upload pictures and photos of unacceptable behavior.

If you happen to be in this dreaded situation, there are helpful ways on how you can save yourself from further damage, here’s how:

Get yourself out of the situation

Neuroscientists found out that it only takes 20 minutes to make an emotional conversation shift into another direction. After that, both parties will be trapped into a neurologically-based pattern that the chance of shifting can only happen after a time of separation. So, it is better not to stay around hoping things will go better or argue with your thoughts. You can say something like “I am not going to discuss this matter with you at the moment,” or you can say absolutely nothing at all!

Do not take it personal

This is going to be a hard response but while you are at the peak of your emotions and horror brought about by humiliation, breathe deeply and take your mind off yourself to process the factors that triggered this person to humiliate you. Staring blankly at the person and displaying a facial expression of surprise shows how shocked you are that such person could behave that way.

More often than not, the person who humiliated you will feel guilt or shame after that moment. They may not say it, but human nature tells otherwise.

When you get the chance, it is best to talk to this person in private. You can tell him that you don’t think he necessarily meant everything and you want to hear his thoughts about the issue. You can be honest in saying that it put you to distress.

Experts tell us that when someone is trying to put a shame on us and make us feel bad about our self, it is because this person has the problem and not because you’ve committed something so unforgivable.

Be mindful of your counterattack

Humiliation can undoubtedly cause anger, and to make revenge can equally feel good in a way that you redeem self-esteem. But the danger in making a counterattack can lead the person humiliating to strike back with a stronger comeback which can make the situation even worse. Choosing not to retaliate on the other hand, does not mean you are weak. It just shows you don’t want to level yourself into that kind of behavior, as much as possible.

Go on with your life

This might sound easier said than done, but it’s the only way to go. You might not be able to strike back directly as your revenge but sometimes, showing that person do not have a continued effect on you is a revenge itself.

How to Pick the Perfect Bedsheets for Your Room

When you get home from work stressed and tired, the one thing you want to do is to lie down on your bed and relieve the stress, whether it’s watching TV or simply talking with your partner. That’s why it’s important that you get the right linens for the job.

And forget thread count – even though some may say that a higher count means more comfort, this isn’t always the case since manufacturers can always alter them using softeners that can break down right after the first wash.

Here’s how you can get the best bedsheets to make your bed feel all the more relaxing when you finally go to sleep:

  1. Get it right with design, fit, and material

These three categories are perhaps the most important to consider when looking for the right bedsheets for your room, and with materials, you can usually invest in a high-quality blends, or even pure cotton.

For the design, you can choose to go with plains or prints depending on your preference. If you have trouble choosing what to go for, you can look to your other pillows and blankets and find out what works better.

And lastly, be sure to get a bedsheet that actually fits your mattress – there’s nothing more frustrating than buying one that you really like only to find out that it doesn’t fit.

  • Stay away from Egyptian cotton as much as possible

It may feel luxurious to touch, but real Egyptian cotton (much like most fabrics that are one hundred percent cotton) can be quite hard to find, since it’s grown under specific conditions along with careful washing and combing.

Even if you can’t find genuine Egyptian cotton, there’s no need to worry – there are lots of fabrics and weaves out there that are just as good and are perfect for the humid climate in Singapore, such as a cotton-polyester blend.

  • Coordinate your bedding

Coordinating your bedsheets with the rest of the furniture and the overall appearance of your room will actually be better for you in the long run, especially after a long and stressful day when all you really need is to see your bed.

You can pull off a coordinated room by looking around and determining the style and colors used for your decor. This can span from your headboard to your furniture.

It also helps to add other bedding accessories aside from simple sheets, such as decorative pillows, duvets covers, and the occasional comforter if it happens to be cold outside. A few cheap pillow covers can also give more life to its overall appearance.

5 Ways to Calm Yourself Down When You’re Feeling Angry

Everyone gets angry at some point, and while it can be healthy at some point as a driving force or motivation, it can also be dangerous and destructive depending on how you express it. When you let your anger get the better of you, you hurt yourself and other people as a result.

Anger can also manifest in different ways, so if you find yourself getting angry easily and more often, it’s important to take the steps to calm yourself down to see more clearly:

1. Vent

Finding a healthy way to express your anger is crucial. Instead of bottling up your emotions and letting it stir, use them as a driver to get something done, whether it’s to write something down or to find a way to address the underlying reason behind your frustration.

2. Take deep breaths

Your body tenses up when you’re angry, so to loosen yourself up, breathing deeply is the solution.

You should keep this trick in mind especially when you find yourself getting angry or frustrated in public, and more so when you’re at work. As much as possible, don’t “lose it” and go into a fit – when you do, you automatically lose.

Instead of doing that, take a few deep breaths and take a moment to objectively assess your situation.

3. Understand where your anger is coming from

The first step to resolve your anger is to think about the reason why you’re angry in the first place. That way, even if you can’t avoid them or resolve them, you’ll be able to anticipate them in the future and have more time to repair.

It also helps to rehearse different reactions to different scenarios. By visualizing a scene where you get angry and imagining different ways to respond to it, you give yourself different options and better ways to respond the next time around.

4. Go for a walk

Sometimes, you really need to give yourself a moment to clear your head – and even more so when you come across something that really ticks you off. And when this happens, it’s completely okay to do so as a calming activity.

Doing this gives yourself a mental or physical escape from the situation, and time to think over your responses better and more clearly.

5. Know your signs

Different people show different signs when angry, and so do you. Whether these are clenched fists, trembling, or being flushed, these can escalate into an outburst when you don’t catch yourself in time.

Once you do manage to catch yourself, you can give yourself time to take a few deep breaths and think things over so you can respond better and more calmly.

5 Drugstore Matte Lipsticks Everybody Loves

Matte lipsticks can be tricky to work with. They tend to dry out the lips, leaving your with rough, patchy and flaky pout. Not cute! And while glossy lips can make you look charming, there’s something about matte lips that make you feel bold and edgy. Pair a matte lip with smoky eye or barely-there make-up look, it will still bring an extra oomph to the look that glossy lips can’t mimic.

But is it really worth the patchy, dry lips? Luckily, you no longer have to choose. We have listed down our top five favorite drugstore matte lippies that aren’t drying and are affordable, so you can rock a matte lip sans the flaking.

  1. Wet n Wild Megalast Lip Color

If you are like most of us who feel the need to own a million shades of lippies, this Megalast Lip Color line is right up your alley. Retailing for no more than S$7, these ultra pigmented, matte lip colors are a definite steal. Try the crowd favorite Bare It All shade, a universally flattering nude color.

  • NYX Soft Matte Lip Cream

Not technically a ‘lipstick’ though, NYX Soft Matte Lip Cream are among the newest innovation in the lip product department. A combination of the rich pigmentation of a lipstick and the hydration of a lipgloss, these lip creams come in a range of 22 shades, pricing at less than S$10 a piece.

  • Maybelline Color Sensational Creamy Matte Lip Color

In addition to their most sought-after Color Sensational line, Maybelline’s Creamy Matte Lip Colors rewards you with rich color pay-off and unparalleled hydration. Enriched with Sesame Seed Oil and Beeswax in every tube, these lip products will lock in moisture in your lips, while giving you that bold matte finish. All these gorgeousness for  S$8 (or less) a tube.

  • L.A. Girl Luxury Crème Lip Color

Infused with aloe, vitamin E and shea butter, this line of matte lipsticks from L.A. Girl promise to leave your pout soft and hydrated while giving off vivid pigment. Comes in 24 different shades, you can choose from barely-there nudes to fiery reds and vampy plums for S$7 each.

  • Milani Color Statement Moisture Matte Lipstick

What could be worse than not having a cup of morning coffee? Drinking your coffee and seeing your lipstick staining your cup and smearing all over. Good thing Milani’s Color Statement Moisture Matte Lipsticks don’t do this. The smudge-proof lip product comes in eight different shades, which come at S$10 a piece.

Lipstick is a make-up collection staple. You may have a hundred of tubes of lipsticks and lip creams, but make sure they make you all look beautiful when wearing them.

5 Real-Life Wedding Dress Dilemmas, Solved!

Are you having wedding dress meltdown? Fear no more! Here are expert recommended solutions to some of the most common wedding dress dilemmas.

  1. “Getting married in church, but don’t want to be overly covered up.”

If you are not a fan of turtlenecks and long sleeves, then boleros and lace cover-ups are a stylish way to keeping your wedding dress looking conservative for the religious ceremony. Once you get to the reception, you can easily remove these pieces to get comfortable as you party the night away.

  • “My wedding is in two months and I still don’t have a dress.”

No need to panic! While it usually takes around six months for a custom wedding dress to be made, there are many other dress options for brides in a time crunch. There are so many bridal boutique in Singapore that accept rush orders that can get you a dress in a month—or even in a few weeks. Alternatively, try checking out off-the-rack dresses. This is a more practical option for brides on a budget.

  • “Did I get the right dress? What if it doesn’t suit me?”

Firstly, feeling of ‘dress regret’ is normal, especially if you’re not done yet mentally shopping for dresses. What you can do is to stop looking at wedding gowns. This means stop searching for them in the internet, unfollowing instagram bridal accounts and skipping dress sections of magazines.

  • “I’m not a fan of white dress, but my family is quite traditional.”

Although there are many shades of white to choose from, it’s totally understandable that not all brides are a fan of this color. But if you’re worried that you might disappoint the traditional culture of your family, need not fear. Wedding dress designers have embraces more pastel shades for their bridal collections. Champagne and blush pink are stunning options if you don’t want a big white dress. The color is very subtle that your family won’t even notice it.

  • “I’m a plus-size, so what dress style should I get?”

Go for an A-line dress; it’s universally flattering. The elegant, clean lines and the flare from the hips of an A-line dress give an illusion of narrower and linger torso. If you are quite curvy, highlight your curves with a drop waist dress style to bring the attention to your small waist and gorgeous bustline.

Wedding dress shopping is the most exciting part of wedding planning. However, it can also be stressful when you have so many things to consider before buying one. If you ever encounter any of these wedding dress dilemmas, know that there’s always a solution for that, and that nothing can stop you from looking beautiful on this very special day of your life.

Previous Posts

Theme author: Engine: